As America’s No. 3,682nd-greatest fan of Madonna, it pains me to have to write this. But however strong my allegiance to The Material Girl®, my first and greater loyalty is to the truth. While spelunking through the Nuttycombe Archives© I came across this song by Susan Maughan, described on the liner notes to her Philips LP, Swingin’ Susan, as “one of Britain’s greatest singing stars.” Now is not the time to debate the merits of that statement, but what is undeniable is that track four on side one is clearly the inspiration for one of Madonna’s biggest hits. That song?

“Poppa, Don’t Preach To Me”

While not an exact match of Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach,” the similarities are too striking to ignore. Maughan’s version contains all the elements of the 1986 Billboard chart-topper, starting with a catchy melody. But let’s compare lyrics:

Madonna sings: “I may be young at heart/ But I know what I’m saying.”

Maughan sings: “Let my heart break while it’s young/ Let me fling ’til my flinging is done.”

Madonna: “Papa don’t preach, I’ve been losing sleep.”

Maughan: “That X marks my room but I’m never up there.”

Further, Maughan sings, “I danced in Paris last night with Pierre,” followed by the line, “I strolled through Paris today with Maurice,” which perfectly captures Madge’s freewheeling disregard for conventional notions of sexual propriety. “Poppa” also contains the line, “the music was gay.” Madonna has long been an icon in the gay community. A Google search of “Madonna drag queen” reveals 369,000 results. Coincidence? I think not.

Some might point out that Maughan’s song was released in 1964, when Madonna was six and living in Michigan. While little miss Ciccone perhaps did not have ready access to BBC radio (we can’t really know), that age is when children “learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy” and “become comfortable with [their] own gender identity,” according to the Parent’s Guide to First Grade — themes explored in both songs. That and Madonna’s well-documented fascination with the U.K. (the ex-husband, the accent, the many London houses) lead us to the inescapable conclusion that the seeds for her fourth number-one single may be traced directly to the producer of Maughan’s record, Wally Stott and his Orchestra. (Interesting sidenote: In the 1970s, Mr. Stott underwent some surgery and became Ms. Angela Morley, moving to Arizona. Again, Madona = icon in LGBT community.)

So, take a listen to the song Madonna tried so hard to keep from you and be shocked. You’re welcome.

My sources inside Buckingham Palace inform me that young Kate Middleton sealed the deal with dashing Prince William by serenading him with the following ditty:

Now, with William off the market, all the birds in England are warbling this tune:

(Photo credit: Suzanne Plunkett, Reuters)

Happened to hear that great old Tammy Wynette/David Houston song, My Elusive Dreams, and realized in an instant that it needed to be updated for our modern world. The original tune’s sad sense of yearning is a perfect commentary on the plugged-in generation’s lemming-like behavior — constantly racing from site to site, app to app, Web 2.0 to Web 3.0, new thing to newer thing, always searching for…whatevs.

And, yeah, me, too.

So I enlisted the mighty musical skills of Honky Tonk Confidential (Diana Quinn, vocals/guitar; Mike Woods, lead guitar/vocals; Sam Goodall, (bass); and Mark Lindamood, drums), booked time with the inestimable Marco Delmar at Recording Arts studio, talked partner-in-crime Tom Welsh into shelling out a few bucks, and, voila! Weird Al, eat your heart out!

Here is a video version of the tune you will be singing for the foreseeable future. If you feel you can make a better video, by all means do.

And here is the MP3 file for your listening and downloading pleasure.

Now, should you be moved enough by this unselfish gift of catchy music, feel free to click the button below. You’re welcome.

When one thinks of classic American surf music, one naturally thinks of Bethesda, Md. At least I do now, after wandering down
Bethesda Avenue of an evening and stumbling upon the Suburban Surfers. The band was set up in the open window at swanky Parker’s Bistro and filling the street with that definitive summer sound.

The group is Landon Banfield (lead guitar), Bill Adkins (rhythm guitar), Rob Fisher (drums), and Tom Phillips (bass), and they not only feature such mainstays of the genre as “Apache” (oddly, a song written and recorded by the British band the Shadows), but also offer suitably retro originals, such as the muscular “Gravitron.”

I must say, I’m quite jealous of Rob’s drums. The kit once belonged to Los Straightjackets‘ drummer Jimmy Lester and was acquired from eBay. Lucky bastard. Anyway, Parker’s has music Thursday through Saturday, another surprise but welcome, and the Surfers are there about once a month. Do check them out, won’t you?

Here Bill and Landon become Santo and Johnny on that gorgeous slow-jam, “Sleepwalk.”

I missed the beginning, but had to record this original/mashup, “Muenster’s Theme.”

As usual, these videos were shot with my PowerShot still camera. Can’t wait to pick up the Canon T2i, so these impromptu vids are more hi-def.. (Videos also available on Youtube.)

So the mystery of “That Thing You Do” continues. As I posted previously, the title song from Tom Hanks’ fabulous film That Thing You Do seems to be in heavy rotation on grocery store Muzak stations. While the fictitious Top 40 hit never cracked the actual Top 10 — a damning indictment of the music industry and popular taste — it is inescapable in the produce aisle.

Last week the tune was heard in a Kroger store in Richmond. You have to listen verrrry closely to this recording to catch it. Kroger’s ceilings are much higher than Giant’s, and the place was much noisier. Even so, the magic hook is unmistakable.

I have an e-mail in to TTYD singer Mike Viola and a tweet to Mr. Hanks seeking comment. Stay tuned…

Always delightful to come upon street musicians, even when the “music” demands ironic quotes. No irony needed for Truusoul, a trio of young jazzbos bringing a quiet groove to the busy corner of Fenton and Ellsworth in downtown Silver Spring. The bass player and guitarist switched instruments after I stopped filming. And is that the tiniest bass drum ever? It looks like a rack tom but it has bass spurs on it. I want one.

Once again, the scene was captured using my trusty Canon PowerShot A590.

Senior year in high school, I took a class called “Basic Musicianship.” It was a “gut course,” as they say; no homework and not many tests, as I recall. What I do remember learning is the concept of a triad chord and the quote, “Music is painted on a background of silence.”

Obviously, the members of The Axis of Awesome paid more attention than me. Australia’s “most tolerated musical comedy trio” has done some valuable research and revealed the shocking truth of pop music: it only takes four chords to make a hit song. Here is the shameful proof:

On the opposite end of the musical spectrum, here is Jan Swafford’s excellent Slate piece explaining the surprising difficulties involved in simply playing in tune. With many audio examples. Of course, I didn’t understand any of it, but I felt good about myself after reading it.

Had a great time chatting and schmoozing with all of the Wammie folks during the 2009 awards ceremony at the State Theater a few weeks back. Greg Berger did a bang-up job of editing the hours of material. Of course, a lot of my pals were left on the cutting room floor, but that’s what the Director’s Cut DVD is for, right? Enjoy.

(Here’s the video on Vimeo.)

It is my firm belief that the best musical moments often happen away from the hype and limelight. Sure, Springsteen’s still giving his all, and I hear Streisand puts on a rousing show. But every night of the week, there’s a cat flat gettin’ it on some small stage in your town, sweating up the joint, knocking himself out. ‘Cause that’s what he does. If you’re lucky, you’ll be in the room. If not, you may never even hear about it.

Such was the case at McGinty’s Tuesday night when The Joker’s Wild threw an 80th birthday bash for D.C. sax legend Ted Efantis. Efantis has played with the likes of Benny Goodman yet does not look nor act anywhere close to his age. He was gleefully telling musician jokes, drinking Presbyterians, jitterbugging women across the dance floor, and clearly enjoying himself all evening.

Joker sax man Jeff Gray claimed Efantis taught him everything he knows about the instrument and thus the bandmembers were kindly repaying a debt to their elder. A variety of D.C. musical hotshots, including GHZ bassist Scott Giambusso, and King Soul’s Tom Clifford, stopped by to wish Ted happy birthday. Or maybe they heard there was cake.

Above, Efantis, Gray, and Ted’s pal Knute smoke up Sonny Rollins‘ signature tune, “Tenor Madness.”

Efantis assays the definitive sax song, “Body and Soul:”

The Jokers (Vincent Borrelli, vocals; Tommy Barrick, drums; Brandon Cochenour, piano; Gray, saxophones; and Eric Leifert, bass) have their way with the Louis Prima classic, “Just a Gigolo:”

King Soul performing at the hottest club in D.C. that isn’t a club, Blaylock Theatre. I can’t even tell you where it is, but you wouldn’t believe me anyway. Shot this with my trusty Canon PowerShot A590.

The first song is a tight cover of JJ Jackson’s classic “But It’s Alright.” The second tune (below) is an original, “Eyes Up,” though it sounds as if it were written in 1968. Good job, lads!

King Soul is Jake Flack (guitar & vocals), Tom Clifford (vocals & harp), Nick Ruggieri (drums & vocals), Mark Noone (bass & vocals), Arif Durrani (keyboards & vocals), Chris Whatling (baritone sax), Tom Ruggieri (tenor sax), Ray Strucker (trumpet), and Vince McCool (trumpet). Check ‘em at myspace.com/kingsoulband

King Soul Rocks the House, Part Two