There are two large boxes in the closet labeled “floppie discs.” These pictured somehow escaped. More incriminating evidence is probably still packed away. I bought a USB floppie drive with the idea of converting all this lost treasure. Yeah, right.
Somewhere, the DOS version waits.
Upgradin’!
Learning is hard!
Was there ever a more useless disc?
Oh, yeah, this one.
The DOOM discs, WAD files, patches, editors, etc., are too numerous to scan. The years spent in deathmatch…
“Unboxing” videos are popular on the Internet and so I decided to make one, too. Here I take a close look at my latest purchase: a pair of Regal Tip wire brushes. You know, for playing jazz drums. And, yes, smooth jazz. (Shut up!)
If you are unfamiliar with the unboxing oeuvre, then by all means do watch this unboxing video. It’s 24 solid minutes of the most anal-retentive, OCD, blibbedy-blobbedy gushing over the simple act of owning an iPod Touch that you will ever witness. And, yes, fairly typical. (Though I must confess that I have watched more than a few unboxing videos of products I was interested in. Sad as it is, the genre has its uses.)
Herewith, los video. (Also available in higher-rez on Vimeo.) Enjoy.
As the Internet continues destroying once-thriving industries, it helpfully creates tiny new ones, such as the make-your-own animation site xtranormal.com. This web utility proclaims, in imploring uppercase, “IF YOU CAN TYPE, YOU CAN MAKE MOVIES.”
While a glance at the multiplex listings suggests this is in fact true, what xtranormal actually offers is more akin to the old song-poem business, whose tiny ads in the back of tawdry magazines enticed amateur poets to turn their writings into amateur-sounding music.
Presenting Hanna-Barbera-style limited animation, xtranormal users may choose a variety of stock characters and backgrounds to create their movies. While not yet embraced at Facebook levels, enough savvy users have taken to xtranormal to create a noticeable trend. Call it the Versus Meme. The Versus Meme pits an expert against an idiot debating some modern concern. In itself, this matchup is pretty much always comedy gold. Computer-generated voices add a satisfying layer of off-kilter post-modern wackness.
Joining this Net fad is simple. First, type out your rant: “I hate X because Y,” “This new thing is stupid because…” Whatever pisses you off at the moment. Shouldn’t be difficult.
Now boil down the opposing viewpoint to it’s most minimal absurdity. Alternate these sentences, pro and con, paste them into the template and click Publish. You are on your way to viral celebrity.
Here are some of the better Versus videos. Some are answer-videos and some answer-videos are by the same creator. And yes, these are basically the same joke. But one of them can be YOUR joke.
Happened to hear that great old Tammy Wynette/David Houston song, My Elusive Dreams, and realized in an instant that it needed to be updated for our modern world. The original tune’s sad sense of yearning is a perfect commentary on the plugged-in generation’s lemming-like behavior — constantly racing from site to site, app to app, Web 2.0 to Web 3.0, new thing to newer thing, always searching for…whatevs.
And, yeah, me, too.
So I enlisted the mighty musical skills of Honky Tonk Confidential (Diana Quinn, vocals/guitar; Mike Woods, lead guitar/vocals; Sam Goodall, (bass); and Mark Lindamood, drums), booked time with the inestimable Marco Delmar at Recording Arts studio, talked partner-in-crime Tom Welsh into shelling out a few bucks, and, voila! Weird Al, eat your heart out!
Here is a video version of the tune you will be singing for the foreseeable future. If you feel you can make a better video, by all means do.
And here is the MP3 file for your listening and downloading pleasure.
Now, should you be moved enough by this unselfish gift of catchy music, feel free to click the button below. You’re welcome.
July 2010 marks the 25th anniversary of my signing a deal with Rhino Records for the wacky little Travesty, Ltd. skit “Rock and Roll Doctor” to be included on the Dr. Demento album Dr. Demento’s Mementos—which lead to it also being included on the Rhino box set The Greatest Novelty Records of All Time and the CD Dr Demento 30th Anniversary: Dementia 2000. Yes, Dr. Demento has been very good to me. (And the Doctor’s recent announcement that he is retiring his radio program after nearly 40 years was greeted with tears at Nutco World Headquarters. This Salon piece pretty much covers the same territory as my 2006 arts feature for City Paper, but offers a nice slide show of great novelty hits.)
Anyway, I took the liberty of compiling all of the royalty statements that have piled up over the years. In short, I have sold 161,301 albums, CDs and cassettes (a surprising number of cassettes, even into the mid-’90s) and was rewarded with $13,216.09 in royalty payments. That works out to about $528 per year. As the egalitarian members of Travesty decided to divide the spoils 10 ways, each of us has earned about a dollar a week during the last quarter century for our comedy work. You’re welcome.
Now it is true that some of those educated shoppers may have purchased the albums for a copy of Dickie Goodman’s “Harry’s Jockstrap” or “Dead Skunk” by Loudon Wainwright III, but I like to think that having that signature sketch in their collection was also a motivating factor.
If you have yet to acquire this comedy gem, you may purchase the original album on which it appeared, Teen Comedy Party, online here. Or, refresh your memory by watching these fan-made versions on Youtube. I have no idea what possessed these people, but am flattered that they took the time.
When one thinks of classic American surf music, one naturally thinks of Bethesda, Md. At least I do now, after wandering down
Bethesda Avenue of an evening and stumbling upon the Suburban Surfers. The band was set up in the open window at swanky Parker’s Bistro and filling the street with that definitive summer sound.
The group is Landon Banfield (lead guitar), Bill Adkins (rhythm guitar), Rob Fisher (drums), and Tom Phillips (bass), and they not only feature such mainstays of the genre as “Apache” (oddly, a song written and recorded by the British band the Shadows), but also offer suitably retro originals, such as the muscular “Gravitron.”
I must say, I’m quite jealous of Rob’s drums. The kit once belonged to Los Straightjackets‘ drummer Jimmy Lester and was acquired from eBay. Lucky bastard. Anyway, Parker’s has music Thursday through Saturday, another surprise but welcome, and the Surfers are there about once a month. Do check them out, won’t you?
Here Bill and Landon become Santo and Johnny on that gorgeous slow-jam, “Sleepwalk.”
I missed the beginning, but had to record this original/mashup, “Muenster’s Theme.”
As usual, these videos were shot with my PowerShot still camera. Can’t wait to pick up the Canon T2i, so these impromptu vids are more hi-def.. (Videos also available on Youtube.)
So the mystery of “That Thing You Do” continues. As I posted previously, the title song from Tom Hanks’ fabulous film That Thing You Do seems to be in heavy rotation on grocery store Muzak stations. While the fictitious Top 40 hit never cracked the actual Top 10 — a damning indictment of the music industry and popular taste — it is inescapable in the produce aisle.
Last week the tune was heard in a Kroger store in Richmond. You have to listen verrrry closely to this recording to catch it. Kroger’s ceilings are much higher than Giant’s, and the place was much noisier. Even so, the magic hook is unmistakable.
I have an e-mail in to TTYD singer Mike Viola and a tweet to Mr. Hanks seeking comment. Stay tuned…
